How do you handle hard things?
I usually head to the pantry to make something sweet, scroll social media mindlessly for hours, or throw on The Office while I do things around the house so I can avoid my thoughts and think about the show.
I’ve been noticing that this hasn’t worked for me and that none of those things are actually “handling” the situation.
Here’s why: the minute I shut the TV off, get done with my cupcake, or put my phone away the uncomfortable feelings rush in and my thoughts go right back to the “hard” things I want to avoid.
Here’s what I’ve started doing: the other day I woke up with some anxiety…
- First I always take time to name my emotions, this gives me power in knowing how to handle it.
- I then started by finding it specifically in my body, where is it, what does it feel like, is it tight or loose, strong or weak, fast or slow, does it have a color?
- Next I took some time to appreciate it – there’s always a reason I’m feeling anxious, it comes from my thoughts, and I appreciate that my body tells me when something is off. Brains connection to body is so cool!
- I honored my feelings, let it know that it could hang out all day and it wasn’t a problem.
- Once in a while I’ll even talk to the negative emotion in my body, I let it know that I recognize it and that it’s OK if it wants to hang out – this might sound cooky to you but it’s helps my brain see that it’s just a feeling in my and it can’t hurt me.
- Then, I went on with my day – I didn’t try to avoid this feeling or change my thoughts to feel better, I just let it be there.
You know what happened? The negative emotion stayed with me all day, it slowly lost intensity throughout the day, but it stayed. It also didn’t ruin my day!
Here’s what I’ve learned from fully allowing any emotion:
- Feeling emotions all the way through is very powerful for many reasons.
- When I allow myself time to process the things I’m feeling the tension in my body seems to release more than when I avoid.
- Being OK to feel negatively keeps me from compounding more negativity in my life.
- It’s OK to feel uneasy all day, and by being OK with uneasiness it releases it’s hold and I can feel all the good emotions even while feeling underlying uneasiness.
- My self-confidence flows stronger when I allow myself to fully feel any emotion, positive OR negative.
I can handle any emotion or feeling and I know that it can’t hurt me because ultimately I’M IN FULL CONTROL. 💕